A few days...

天下第一



For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served. Time passes so slowly when you wait for something. Time... Once time would be over then life would begin. Right now, I feel like life begins, on this day where I am about to set my foot on the stranger's land. I become the stranger amongst these humans like me. These humans, that don't live like me yet breath and smile just the same.

One dream. Everyone has one dream. My dream was to have wings to take me away. My dream was to see what I cannot see. My dream was to adventure myself into corners of the earth I did not have the chance to find myself in at birth...

If I could have been born everywhere! But I am me, and I'm here, and I'm going there.

There.

Out there...

I see myself...my little 6 years old self...''Dad! Dad! Give me a city! I'll find it on the map!''

That was my favorite game...

Spin, spin and spin...I ceased the spining with my finger...I'll land in an ocean or maybe somewhere in Africa this time? I held my globe close and it followed me everywhere when I had spare time...

it was my favorite toy...

The Atlas?

My favorite book...

For a little girl that always walked the same streets...saw the same houses...the same poeple...

How should I feel?

Am I exagerrating the feeling?

I would lay on my bed and look at the ceiling...stare at it for hours and hours... I would imagine landscapes appearing...mountains, trees, cities, poeple, castles, palaces, waterfalls, villages, markets, fields, sunsets, sunrises, things like never before!

Tears are falling...how many days, how many years have I been longing for this? To see something even my mind could not recreate so perfectly...? Because it was always imperfect...details are so vague, everything is incorrect when it's in your mind...


My little escape world...about to unfold itself before my eyes...

It's nothing in particular, asia...nothing really. Why asia? Initally, just because it was far. Asia is far and asia is unknown...who will find you in asia? no one. No one that I know of will tell me it's wrong to laugh or it's okay to cry. I'll run freely, I'll think freely! Away from their critics, from their harsh words that pulls me down every single time.

They'd never believe I'd really go! What do you have to say now? Nothing! I can't hear any of you! I'm beyond everyone's reach...

What was initally a need for freedom, turned into something a little more positive than that. Because I'm not doing this to show to anyone that ''I can'' anymore. Because I simply do not care about it...

Now it's just the mere joy of living on my own, discover and share my journey to the poeple I love back home. Thus, I'm writing and I'm smiling and if a tears are rolling down of my cheeks...I know those are tears of happiness.

I hope you all feel what I'm feeling today, one day...all of you. The heart that beats...the legs that shakes...

I wish you all of it...

Farewell and see you all soon!